I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
