OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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