just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
