But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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