Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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