Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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