Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize