but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
