she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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