a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
