Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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