You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
