I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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