Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
