I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
