I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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