handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Come see our sink grown plant.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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