she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
