i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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