just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
