I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
