i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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