Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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