i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
