I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
