If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
