I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
