Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
