I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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