Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I cut my penus on the lid.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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