i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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