I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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