Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
