So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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