Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
