please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
