doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
