It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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