dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
