So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
