I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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