with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just want nice things and good sex
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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