What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
