Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
