if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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