I like my sex mixed with concussions.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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