I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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