Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
