I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
