i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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