Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
