Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize