i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
