Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
