Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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