oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
