you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize