Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
